Parkinson’s interview

I had the immense pleasure and pain in caring for my dad who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  There are so many exhausted joyful memories, I will always be grateful to hold in my heart.  I miss him every day.

This interview is beautiful in its efforts to raise awareness of this disease.  If you have a few minutes I urge you to read and enjoy.
http://janeandjury.com/raising-awareness/

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Insomnia-city: a poem

Skin blazing,
Crawling.
Muscles tightening,
Cramping.
Stomach clenching,
Churning.

Change amiss,
Amiss.
Senses heightening,
Heightening.
Slumber eluding,
Awakening
Weakening
Illuminating
Darkening

Rest for the weary,
Oh, my soul is weary.
Yet, rest shall not appear.
Tonight, rest slumbers elsewhere.

Onward preparations
Are made
For a day of fire,
Burning
In a mind where silence is not found.

Time surpasses the mundane
Tick
Tock
To wild waters
Flowing
Through hands
Desperate
To hold onto
But, unable

To disengage…

*But, to hear their deep breath
Of life
Of peaceful
Sleep,
Another day shall be borne.
And I, though deprived,
Determined
Engage.

Cool new book

I bought this new book a few weeks ago and promptly set it aside…Funny thing, at our last DBSA meeting, the guest speaker spoke of mindfulness meditation helping relieve symptoms of depression. He also told us we have the power to make changes in our own brains using these types of techniques.  His practice does allot of work with depression, so I was intrigued how it could work for mania too.  Then, I remembered I had bought my book that answers my questions! Thought I’d share with you!

image

The brain is a powerful and complex terrain…maybe this tool would help someone else. 😌☕📗

Perplexed with the Idea of Sanity

I’ll try to go more in depth later, so I’m sorry for the short post.

My BIL posted a very well written, thoughtful, and passionate post regarding responsible gun ownership and right to bear arms. While I agree with most of his case, there were some comments made about being a “sane” person and him being willing to “prove his sanity.”  I understand what he was trying to get across. I agree with his statement whole heartedly.  However, it opened the flood gates for obsessive ponderings.

What constitutes a person as “sane” and “insane”?

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary says this of “sanity”: the condition of having a healthy mind ; the condition of being sane; the condition of being based on reason or good judgment…and this of “insanity”: severe mental illness ; the condition of being insane; something that is very foolish or unreasonable.

I guess my biggest question resides with the problem of stigma and relativity.  There are people without mental disorders who perform great acts of evil every day.  They experience a moment of “Insanity” or are just evil. Likewise, there are people with mental disorders who never harm a fly.  They practice a lifestyle which could be deemed as “Sane”.  I am not ignorant of the fact that there are many crimes committed by mentally unstable (and often undiagnosed and untreated) people.

I guess I find it sad that mentally ill and insane are often used as synonymous.  I may suffer from an illness in which I did not ask for.  So, does this mean I am insane? It does not. I have a mental illness. I really like how Rick Warren states that mental illness is just that and sometimes we have a “break in reality.” For me this definition “break in reality” is a good description rather than “insanity”; I don’t feel as threatened and it keeps my dignity.

I am grateful to live in this exciting time period when so many good things are happening…people are gaining courage to speak out as advocates in hopes to break the stigmas; family members standing up to help give healthier perspectives; support groups offering positive, non judgemental security for peers to express their struggles and joy.

Motherhood

Just because I have a mental illness doesn’t make me an incompetent or incapable mother. It means I work harder to give my children a good life. It means I dig deeper for strength to go to work another day. It means I don’t take my good days for granted. It means I admit weaknesses and ask for help. It means I see life through a different lens. My biggest dream is to provide a safe, loving, nurturing, healthy home for my children to thrive. I am no different than any other Mama Bear who loves her cubs to the ends of this earth. 💖